Most newly graduated people can only afford to live in New York City by looking for a roommate. Finding the right person, though, takes a little more than sheer luck. Making a good match means asking all the right questions during your roommate finder hunt, and setting out clear expectations.
It’s also a good opportunity to learn about conflict resolution, how to communicate more effectively and how to be assertive. You won’t want to put your signature to the lease until you’ve set out a couple of specific basics and found someone you can stand to live with for some time!
Looking For A Roommate?
Who do you want to live with? A partner in crime? A quiet loner? Your new best friend?
If this is the first time you’ve had to become a roommate finder, you are going to need to sit down and think really, really hard about the people or person you live with. Looking for a roommate is almost like getting hitched – except, with any luck, you will have separate bedrooms and your own significant others. However, you’re still going to be sharing stuff, like the fridge, and you’ll grow to have an intimate knowledge of each other’s schedules and bathroom habits.
So what boundaries are you going to set? And how will you make sure they will be honored? Your very best friend could well be a nightmare roommate, since you’re long past the stage of diplomacy in the friendship. So just imagine waking up and finding her ruffling through your personals drawer for something to borrow.
Yes, that actually does happen! That’s why we’ve put together some typical obstacles and how to overcome them when looking for a roommate. Discuss these points before even moving in together. If your potential roommate balks at the list, it’s a sure fire sign to move on.
7 Need-To-Be-Discussed Points
- Paying the Rent Before It Is Due
You need to read a lease very carefully. There are usually always late fee conditions for being late with the rent. Try to make an arrangement that works, whether you and your new roommate write your own rent checks, or one of you decides to be responsible for collecting rent from the other. Whatever the decision, make it in advance and stick to it. You could even try making the rent due a week before it actually has to get paid, just to keep on track.
- When It Comes To Cleaning Duties and Chores, Set Expectations
Maybe you love your space to be ultra-tidy but for the life of you, you’ve never noticed a dust bunny. Your roommate, though, could be absolutely fine with filthy dishes lying in the sink for days, but completely insists on a well-vacuumed and dust free apartment. Compare your preferences and try to be considerate: if you have opted to split the cost for things, try splitting the cleaning chores too. While it may sound a little childish, a chore chart really does work.
- Put Everything in Writing
From individual utility bills to rent, put every single thing down in writing and keep track. Unless one of the rooms is significantly larger than the other, the split is usually 50/50. How are the utilities going to be split? What if you’re looking for a roommate who wants cable but find one who doesn’t own a TV when you do? Decide how everything will be divvied up – maybe 50/50 for everything except the cable? When going on a roommate finder hunt, all these things need to be discussed.
- How Will You Share Common Use Items and Common Space?
It’s likely that you will both be contributing items to the living room and kitchen. It is your responsibility to speak up if there are specific rules, like no liquids near your awesome suede sofa, before any problems arise.
- Establish Very Clear Rules For Noise Limits and Parties
Chances are your sleeping rhythms and schedules are not going to be identical. That’s why you need to decide in advance about the noise limits. Will you put a ban on weeknight parties? Or perhaps no guests will be allowed after 10pm? Also, lay down house rules for events and guests. Just because there is a BBQ area doesn’t mean your roomie can have 30 people over every single weekend to take advantage of it. You may want to stick up a whiteboard calendar to help out with what could be a heated issue.
- What Is Off-Limits and What Can Be Shared?
Some people couldn’t care less if you decide to use their bedroom as a coat room for your parties on a Friday night. Others may freak out if you even cross the threshold of their space, for any reason at all. Be sure to ask.
- The Fridge Rules
The refrigerator is probably the holiest place in the house, which is why it can be the cause of more problems for roommates than finding a hair in the shower drain. Your roommate loves Velveeta but you prefer to buy triple-crème Brie. Yet you still come home to find she’s finished that pricey bottle of bubbly you were saving for a very special occasion. When you confront her about it she says “oh, that’s okay, you’re welcome to drink my beers.” The only way to avoid these awkward situations is to decide in advance what will be shareable and what will be off limits.
Looking For a Roommate? Use a Roommate Finder
Roommatehub is a comprehensive roommate finder site that can help you find your perfect match.